Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I LIKE MONKEYS

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His
name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really
bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new
environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead.
Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn
cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real
bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want
to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change
them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so
it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to
extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor
wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the
bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't
allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet
one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the
frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My
friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like
them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in
the genitals.

I like monkeys

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Yeah I'm Writen' Somethin'

Ok so I re-did my blog. I think it's cool now. LOL. I've been thinking about a new post about music. So I'm trying to get it figured out. So I hope to work on that shortly. So how is everyone doing out there. Good I hope.

Ok I'm off to have some coffee.

Laters.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Jewish Crunk

This is for my hommie Jeff. Love ya bro.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Kings of Leon and Eddie Vedder

Ok this is pretty fucking cool for those of you that like Kings of Leon and Eddie Vedder. Now Vedder fucks up a pair tambourines that's a first for me. LOL. So here it is.

Wow

Shit it worked. That was quite easy. Watch out now....here comes YouPorn.

Aesop Rock Video

Ok I'm not sure if this is going to work but if it does I'm posting a cool Aesop Rock video from his new album. Hope it works and hope you all like it.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

A List of My Own Questions I Asked Myself After A Glass of Milk

1. What is the last book you read that you'd tell a friend about?
Club Dumas. It's the book the movie Ninth Gate is based on.

2. What would you say to your last relative who passed away if you had a few minutes with them?
It'd be my grandpa Ed. I'd like to tell him that he gave me some of my fondest memories as a kid and that I love him and my grandma very very very very much.

3. What five cds do you have in your car right now that you listen to the most?
Kings of Leon - Ah Shake Heartbreak
White Stripes - Icky Thump
Mix #7 - My own mix up
Screaming Trees - Dust
Old Crow Medicine Show - Big Iron World

4. Favorite color to wear out?
Red and black or my Dickie blue jeans and a white shirt.

5. Last time you had to bitch slap someone?
A couple years ago at the Ralphs by house. "It smells like their's pussy runnin' thru you."

6. The one famous person you'd like to buy a beer for dead or alive?
Mark Twain.

7. The last thing you ate that made you want to puke?
This firehot beef stick from work. Fucking nasty as thing.

8. Car you wish you could own?
A '64 1/2 Mustang custom to my likings and one that was all original.

9. The five guys you'd like to play poker with right now?
Mark Twain, Buster Keaton, My friend Jeff, Jack White, and Jerred Weaver.
Oh and Jennifer Tilly if she played naked....sorry E I didn't say you, but I know you don't like to play.

10. The last piece of strange you had?
I'm married so my wife but before her was a chick named Kashmir.

11. Last drink you had?
With J and E. I had two Belizen Beers and a Skullspliter.

12. If you could give one piece of advise to a young child in your family what would it be?
Always be positive and look towards the sky and never let anything you can't control control you.

13. One thing you dad taught you when you were a kid that you'll tell your kid?
"To give pain you have to take pain."

14. The last music video you jerked off to?
The last one I remember right now is first Spice Girls video from their second album, but I'm guessing I've done it since. Might find a Toni Braxton video later tonite tho.

15. What's two sayings do you like to use for shits and giggles?
"Joke them if they can't take a fuck" and "Son"

16. Last time you wanted to kick a co-worker in the balls or pussy?
Today. My closer from last nite didn't get his work done even though he had 4 hours to get 2 hours worth of work done.

17. What is your dream job?
To be a good father to my future kids.

18. Where will you be come July 25th 2007?
On my way to ComicCon, Bitches!!!!!!!!!

19. Would you rather fuck 20 Paris Hilton's at the same time or 1 dream girl?
1 dream girl.

20. Did you have a good day today?
Yes for the most part I did.

Ok So Here It Is

So over the last week I've been dealing with a bad tooth. The kinda bad tooth that makes a person wanna kill their own mother because the beef soup is a bit cold. So I went to the dentist last Wed. and started what has become a seven day (so far) root canal. I'm hoping that come tomorrow I will be finished with it, fingers crossed. So outside of that I'm good and all is well. I'm soooo excited about ComicCon coming up. A week from tomorrow I'll be driving down to the campground and having to fix dinner for myself and two drunk-off-their-ass people I'm proud to call friends.

Hey Jeff I'm glad to see that you've moved out.....you did call man....What up? It's cool I'm sure you had it all worked out. Figured how you saved my ass you'd work me to death...LOL...LOL.

Ok that's it for now.

Ta Ta
De Boll Weevil

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

I'm Venom

Your results:
You are Venom


































Venom
55%
The Joker
53%
Juggernaut
49%
Mr. Freeze
47%
Apocalypse
47%
Dark Phoenix
47%
Catwoman
46%
Poison Ivy
45%
Kingpin
43%
Magneto
42%
Two-Face
41%
Dr. Doom
40%
Lex Luthor
39%
Green Goblin
37%
Riddler
37%
Mystique
33%
Strength, disguise and adrenaline are your greatest weapons.


Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

Thursday, April 26, 2007

99 Questions.....Cause I Can

Ok so I stole this from Jeff and he stole if from someone else so here it goes...


1. What is the last alcoholic beverage you drank?
A Dos Equis while Bar B Qing the other nite.

2. Do you follow college football?
Nope. Don't really like college sports.

3. Who took this survey before you?
Jeff.

4. who was the last person to send you a text message?
My wife.

5. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
Around a year, year and a half ago.

6. Are you happy?
For the most part.

7. Where was the last place you went shopping?
Big Lots today.

8. How do you feel about your hair?
It's cool, I'm growing it out again.

9. Where do you live?
Orange, CA.

10. Last thing you ate?
Some frys and nuggets from the golden arches.

11.Do you wish you were some place else right now?
On the road with my wife and a dog.

12. Last time you were kissed?
This afternoon.

13. Do you have any expensive jewelry?
Not realy the wedding ring my mom bought for me is about it.

14. AIM or MSN?
AIM.

15. What classes are you taking?
Whatever they offer at the School of Hard Knocks.

16. How many hours on average do you work a week?
40.

17. Who do you like right now?
The people I live with and my two dearest friends.

18. Do you watch the olympics?
Nope not unless my wife will be watching it while I sleep or when the Football is on (soccer for the whites).

19. Last restaurant you went to?
Chilis.

21. Who was the last person to call you?
My sister.

22. What's your sign?
Pisces, baby.

23. Do you have a favorite number?
13

24. Last time you did volunteer work or made any donation?
When I was a handyman.

25. What do you spend the majority of your money on?
Right now bills so that way I can spend money on comics, seeing the Angels play, and money for Belize next year.

26. Where does most of your family live?
A bit of everywhere.

27. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
I have 1 whole blooded sister, a half sister, a step sister, and a step brother.

28. Ever been called a hoe/slut?
Nope. But I should look into that.

29. Ever been called a bitch?
Yes. I smacked the motherfucker and that was the last time he said a bad thing to anyone within earshot of me.

30. Favorite kind of beer?
Guinness and Qustion #1 isn't bad also Red Stripe is O.k.

32. Have you ever experienced true love?
Yeah. I'm married to her.

33. Did you ever collect Beanie Babies?
No. I do have some in my truck.

35. Myspace or Facebook?
Fuck'em both.

36. Do you have T-Mobile?
That I do but going back to Cingular.

37. What is your favorite subject?
Music, pussy, and anything that I enjoy.

38. Do you sometimes wish you were someone else?
No, just a richer version of myself.

39. Fall for the bad girls/guys or good girls/guys?
Both in one.

40. do you like school?
I fucking hated school.

42. Do you have any talents?
I sorta sing and play the guitar.

44. Do you have any children?
Ha. You wish.

45. Last movie you saw?
Crank.

46. Are you missing anyone at the moment?
Nope.

47. Did you take a nap today?
Nope.

49. Ever been on a cruise?
Nope. Got no fucking money.

50. Favorite vacation spot?
Kentucky and Vegas.

51. Favorite genre of music?
That's hard since I listen to almost everything.

52. Do you have any wealthy friends?
Nope. I have a lot of poor ones, tho.

53. Ever met anyone famous before?
I talked to Steven Tyler at Disneyland for about 30 seconds.

54. Favorite actor/actress?
Man that's really harrrd. I love Bencio Del Toro, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Natalie Portman.

56. Are you multi-tasking right now?
Sure. I'm doing this,burning movies, and cleaning the room.

57. Could you handle being in the military?
Maybe if I was a sharpshooter.

58. Are you hungry or thirsty?
Both, go fix me something!

59. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Ummmmmmmmmm.

60. Favorite Nightclub and bar?
Stubricks is cool in Fullerton.

61. What is your average cell phone bill?
$110

62. Do you own a camera phone?
Fuck yeah, bitch.

63. Ever had to take a sobriety test?
Nope. I don't drink and drive

65. Can you speak any other languages?
Nope but I can understand Cerole.

66. Last time you went to the gym or worked out?
Every day I go to work.

67. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
6. 2 pairs of work boots, 3 pairs of nite/walking when I'm not at work shoes, and 1 pair of I don't care what happens to these shoes .

68. Do you have a photo hosting site that you use?
That I do not although I may have one when I get back from Con.

69. Last place you were at?
Big Lots.

70. What was your high school mascot?
Went to four diffrent high schools in four diffrent states so I have no fucking idea.

71. Ever been to Las Vegas?
Yeah, but it's been a while. Can't wait to get back.

72. Ever been to Mexico for spring break?
Nope.

73. Have you ever bought condoms?
C'mon, you all know I wrap my shit.

74. Do you have any regrets?
None. I'm who I am because of my choices and I like to think that I'm a good person and a good friend.

75. What do you think is your best feature?
People say my eyes so I guess my cock.

76. Have you ever been gambling?
Yes. I love gambling.

77. How old are your parents?
50ish years old.

79. Do you have your wisdom teeth?
Nope.

80. Favorite place to be?
On a nice sunny 70 degree day any MLB park watching a game is a great place to be, but I have a ton of other places I like to be .

81. Have you ever been to New York City?
Yes and yes it's a beautiful place to see.

82. Favorite sit down restaurant?
Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles, Chilis, Woodranch, and Z's is really good.

83. Ever been to Disney Land/World?
Yeah, I do live in Anaheim, after all.

84. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
Steamboat Willie, Stewie, and Scrooge McDuck.

85. Last thing you cooked?
Bar B Qed chicken.

86. How is the weather today?
Beautiful, actually.

87. Do you e-mail?
Sorta?

89. Favorite store?
My comic store, hardware store and any place my wife buys thongs from.

90. Last voicemail you received?
My sister

91. Do you drunk dial?
Nope.

92. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
I have to say I've never done anything stupid with mine except drop it.

93. What is the best city that you have lived in?
Lexington and Orange.

94. Favorite band/Artist?
Well that is a whole other list longer then this one but right now I love the White Stripes (new album comes out June 18th), Tom Waits, Kings Leon, Old Crow Medicine Show.

95. Last time you were sick?
About a month and a half ago.

96. Are you lactose intolerant or do you have IBS?
Nope.

97. Last concert you went to?
Shit, it's been a while. I saw John Williams conduct and James Taylor on the same stage.

98. Ready for the weekend?
I work on weekends.

99. What did you do last night?
Not much watched TV




Ok there it is. Have fun and Ta Ta for now
De Boll Weevil

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Remember When I Wrote Last....Well Me Niether

So today I'm sitting here going thru all my music and wondering when the hell I'm ever going to get a chance to listen to it all. Now I've gotten into this "news group" thing and WOW! I've DL close to 50 gigs of stuff to go with the other 175 gigs of stuff that I have stored away. I'm going crazy and I need help. Can anyone save me from myself.

I do have to say that this year has been a good year. I'm down to $290 left on all my old debt. So Jeff and Eric that means dinner on me is soon on the way as well as a couple drinks or maybe 7 or 12 cause I'm sure all of us could use it. This year is also good cause my great friend Jeff has made manager and my other great friend is doing well at his job. Plus on top of all that I get to go to Comic Con with Jeff and Eric and I'm soooooo excited. Now I need to start saving money that way I can sort of get caught up on my comic collection.

Oh and for of you that care the new White Stripes album Icky Thump comes out June 18th and I'm gonna be getting it first thing in the morning. Can't wait to hear it.
Plus I think Jack is writing songs for his other the band The Racontuers. So that will be cool.

Since I last wrote I've bought two more games. MLB 2K5 (it's fun although it's
tough) and I got FIFA Street for Nash and I (I haven't had a chance to play this one yet but heard good things about FIFA '06 or '07 shit can't remember).

I think I've got two new songs sorta worked out still need a bit of work but I got the body of them figured out I think. Man it's been awhile since I've writen a new song. I almost forgot how to do that. I need to get back into taking lessons. Plus I need shit loads of time to practice. I hope to be able to make an album with some people I really like to hang with plus respect musicly (sp?). So that should be a lot of fun.

Ok time to go I must take care of some stuff.

Ta Ta for now
Boll Weevil

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Games...Bitches!

Ok so Friday I got paid a few more dollars then I would get on a paycheck...5 hours of O.T. and $220 for safety bingo...= a $720 check. So I went to Frys and bought a few games. I got Lord of the Rings: The Third Age (which is great RPG), Morrowind (on Jeff and E's word, haven't had the chance to play it), Dead Man's Hand (looks like it could be along the lines of Red Dead Revolver), and MLB Slugfest 2006 (this has been a lot of fun for both Nash and I). I look forward to checking out the other two games Morrowind and Dead Man's Hand. When I do I'll let you all know how I liked them.

Hope all is well in the world and everyone is doing great.

Nite Nite Kiddies
De Boll Weevil

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Much Love

Ok it's been a bit of time since I've had anything to write about but last nite changed that. I'm now a proud owner of a XBox and 7 or 8 games, 3 controllers (one of which is wireless), and the DVD plug in thingy. I can't wait to be able to hook it up and start playing. That will come on Thursday. I have 2 very kick ass people to thanks for making me an excited young boy again and is Jeff and Eric the two greatest friend and guy could ever ask for. Thank you guys very very very very very very much. Much love to the both of you.

Ok now I must gettting ready to go to Disneyland. Have a good day everybody.

De Boll Weevil

Friday, December 01, 2006

Trying

Ok just checking something out.

Mother Fucker!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ok not much going on but I'd thought share how freakin' broke I am. I have a whole $20 cash. Now hold on to your seat. I'm rich I'm rich. Ok so maybe I'm not but the fuckin' bills are gettin' paid. So that is good.

Ok for those out there that read comics, I've been reading The Preacher and hold shite lads. It's a great book. Aaron, who I work with, is letting me borrow the trades and I can not but these damn things down. After I'm finished with The Preacher I'm going to start reading a few Daredevil books then I'm going to start Transmetropolitan. Then I'm going to start reading a bunch of Bendis books. It's cool Aaron let me borrow 2 short boxes of trades.

Ok I'm off to burn some movies and what not.

Hope all is good out in the World.

"Bollweevil Out"!!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Well Well Well

I'm sitting here on Thanksgiving and have a bit of time. So I thought I'd fuck with my blog and post a bit of something new. I don't have much to say cause the two people who read this I talk to often. I'm going to try and do a bit more on here. Ok now off to shower and eat.

De Boll Weevil

Friday, May 19, 2006

It's been a while

Ok I know...sorry about the long delay. I've been busy, well sort of. Plus it's hot a piss where I'm at. Well good news: I might be moving back to Orange. I can't wait to get back. Nash (my wife for those of you who don't know) hates it here and wants to go back. She really never wanted to leave in the first place my mistake. So I'm just waiting to here about a job in Irvine before I make any decisions. So we'll see. For those of you that pray...do a lot for me. Ok I have to read up on framing and shit so I'm off this thing for now.

Ta Ta

De Boll Weevil

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Good News.....I hope.

Well Chuck talked to the guy (Charles Lee) about the house that he's re-doing. Charles said that "he's glad that Chuck called him back." Out of all the people that he talked to Chuck and I were the most honest with him and he liked out style. So I think we might have the job. I'm not going to get all crazy about it, it's not a sure thing just yet, but it's nice to think about. The whole job is going to be around $100,000 and about half that is in materials. So Chuck and I could make about $25,000 each. Also as soon as this one is done Charles is taking out a line of credit and buying another one and if he likes our work...we'll work on the next one.

So for those of you that pray...put in a couple for me.

Ok I have to eat now....I took some meds for another tooth ache and I forgot to eat.

Later

De Boll Weevil

Monday, May 01, 2006

JB

One last thing...JB's tits.........great.....4 squirts out of 5

The Last Few Days

Ok let me just say that I'm sorry for any readers of this here blog who are worried that their has been no new writings. I've been working on my plumbing and Chuck and I finally got it done, with a few leaks here and there but I can pea in my own toilet. I however at this moment don't have hot water. We bought a tankless waterheater that should run on 220 but we have it hooked up to 110 so that might be some of the problem. So later this morning I'm gonna take a look at it. Then I have major house cleaning to do. Oh yeah Chuck and I also have to lay the tile.....but no big deal.

Now for some cool stuff.....

Chuck has introduced me to a game called Criminal Country that can be found at criminalcountry.com...( I know you can't get to it..no sure how to make links on this thing). It's a online text based RPG. It's been a lot of fun to play...so Jeff and Eric you guys need to sign up. My name on there is DeBollWeevil...so look me up. Oh if you do sign up Jeff or Eric...I'll help out with money to get you guys started.

Atticus is doing better he seems to not be in pain as much. He's still not putting all the weight on his leg but I hope in the next couple of weeks, with some more rest , he'll be good.

I came down to home for a bit early Saturday morning to get my mail and see my mom for a bit. I didn't realize I much I miss my home and area down there. My wife also misses it quite a bit but I hope things get better soon.

Ok I must get started on my long day of work around the house and my shop.

I'll try and keep this up to date.

De Boll Weevil